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Elevator Jokes (30)

Elevator Fart

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish downtown Toronto building, when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!" Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Channel No. 5, $200 an ounce!" About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the…
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They had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years...

They had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years. To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, he took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel. She said to the bellman, "We refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, no fan," she complained. "But, Madam!" "Don't `But, Madam' me," she continued. "You can't treat us like we're a couple of fools just because we don't travel much, and we've never been to the big city and never spent the night at a hotel. I'm going to complain to the manager." "Madam,"…
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‘Take me to the 10th floor’

‘Take me to the 10th floor’ said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise building. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, 'The 10th floor, son.' 'Why did you call me son?' demanded Banta Singh. 'I am not your son.' 'I called you son because I brought you up,' replied the liftman.
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Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops...

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together." The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
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Paul got off the elevator...

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind dates door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. Ill be ready in a few minutes, she said. Why dont you play with Rollo while youre waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, hell jump through. The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through -- and over the balcony railing. Just…
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Elevator Magic

A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, What's this, Paw? The father responded, Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is! While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into…
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Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde...

Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: OOOOOhhh that looks like semen. She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says It feels like semen. The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says It smells like semen. The blonde, reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, It doesn't taste like…
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In an elevator!

A small guy goes into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown. The small guy faints.The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, What's wrong with you? The small guy says, Excuse me, but what did you say? The big dude looks down and says, 7 feet tall, 350 pounds,…
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A guy steps into an elevator and...

A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast. He says, Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to forgive me. She looks at him a few seconds and says, That's all right. If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 204.
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